Well, hello all. I chose today to get a little more caught up. I uploaded 17 pieces of art to my Fine Art America site. I’ve been really behind. I have also added 10 posts here with some of the art; the other art I just connected to previous posts here. I’m not really caught up, but I did do quite a bit. It took me most of the day or at least half the day to do all that. It feels like I never really have enough time in my life to keep up with posting and organizing my art, but that is one reason I created this blog, to have a place to organize my writing and art.
I started off trying to create a new gallery parent page with sub page categories because my current gallery page has so much art that it won’t load correctly, and its hard to add anything further. Part of my problem is that I currently don’t have internet, but use my phone’s hotspot. That’s where I got stuck in making my new gallery because the images I already uploaded here to WordPress wouldn’t upload again for me to choose them for my gallery categories therefore my gallery pages are just drafts now. Because of that, I moved on to adding artwork to Fine Art America so that I can link it to my gallery when it does get up and running, and I created art posts for each new Fine Art America edition that didn’t already have a post. There’s a couple scripture arts I didn’t create posts for. I’ll just add them under the corresponding Psalms 102 workshops once I post my outlines-a goal for the future. I think I could actually spend full time creating art, publishing it, doing the ministry, and keeping up with this blog, but I already have a full time job and work maybe 50 hours a week counting travel time, plus I have a family, and a home to take care of, and I also try to have a social life every once in awhile. So it feels like there is never enough time to do things adequately the way I would like, but today I had a good stretch of time, and more then the usual amount of alone and uninterrupted time, so I made the most of it.
I tend to be kind of hard on myself at times because it always feels like I don’t do enough or when I do create things, make posts, writings, etc., I don’t do it well enough according to how I would like it to be. It often feels like my life is just flying by, and I just try to get done what I can. I dream of life slowing down some day. I am too hard on myself. That is one thing God is trying to address in me. I just wish I could be further along in life, but I realize compared to the obstacles and time that I have, I have done quite a bit.
Occasionally, people will be surprised that I have gotten done what I did, like having a garden this past spring and summer. I attributed most of that to God just giving me good land.
I’m pretty driven, when it comes to art, writing, and ministry. Perhaps God made me that way, but sometimes I have to ask myself how much of my drive is performance based efforts to win love and approval? Even God’s approval which I know is unconditional?
Actually, my art making and sometimes even writing stem from a deep seated need to relieve stress and express myself. I’ve always been this way, and it has always been a higher priority then making money or even being what others would consider successful. Ministry is also a higher priority then making money, but I’ve often wondered, “How do I do both? How do I balance business and ministry?”
I figure I will plug along. For now, ministry is more of a priority, but it seems like this blog could make it easier for me when I do want to invest more time and strategy into marketing and selling. Like, I said, sometime this year, I want to open and Etsy store and start primarily with alcohol inks. I do at least have prints available at my Fine Art America site. I’ll be honest, the markup is very little for me, so it will never even be a good stream of income-not till I start selling my originals or can afford a high end printer to make prints more affordable for the people who are interested. I really have a heart for the poor and downtrodden, so I always want to have art that is affordable, and also art that is available to minister, regardless if people are buying it or not such as through this blog.
I have been making art my whole life, and I am a very prolific artist. I am constantly making art, probably more then anybody wants to see, and certainly more then I can adequately post. The output of high quality art seems to be limited, but maybe that is because I am comparing myself to others with different styles. Perhaps, because of my trauma, I am constantly reworking my art. Sometimes I overwork it, and other times I get stuck in the execution and then lose my momentum. Then the drive and the pressure is for a new work of art which will relieve the stress. So I have many unfinished works. I also have many artworks I consider not worthy enough of posts or publication, but I see them as stepping stones for something new or collage material for a new work of art. I feel like I almost specialize in taking something discarded, ugly, or broken, and trying to make it beautiful again. I get enticed by the endless possibilities, and my mind just gets flooded with ideas and new directions I want to take, new things I want to try, etc. I feel like I dabble in many more styles then the typical artist does. Perhaps its also because being an art therapist means I need to know how the different types of art materials work, but more so, I think its just my personality. Its very exploratory, playful, curious…and in art I just want to be free. I don’t necessarily want to follow the “art rules” or take the time to learn them. I just “go for it” and experiment. For instance, oil pastels can be a preliminary layer for me, not the final layer, like most recommend. I can use gesso on top of it if I later want to take pens to draw over my work or I can isolate the layers with self-leveling gel. I haven’t discovered anybody else who mixes collage and pours the way I do. I spend so much time putting together most of my art, especially the mixed media-that it is not really cost effective. Its not really the way to go if I want to earn money, but I love it so much. That’s why I decided to focus on the alcohol inks for more of an income stream. They take far less time then my typical art.
I feel like I should be further ahead as a professional artist, considering I have made art my whole life, but I think its a combination of my past trauma, limited time, and my focus on art as ministry and as healing which has contributed to not actually taking the time to join any art associations or market myself adequately. I haven’t bothered to get my art into any art galleries lately. I did a couple of galleries in the past; it just hasn’t been a priority. I might join an art association this year, because I think that is the first step to take in crossing over into more professional art making.
I feel talent wise, my talent hasn’t increased in proportion to the amount of time I put into art making. I do actually watch quite a bit of “how to” videos, and recently, I have started taking notes. Perhaps, its also because I dabble into so many different mediums. I have never had professional art training except for about 2 drawing classes, 2 painting classes, and one metal sculpting class. I also had one online art class. I imagine one day when most of my continuous stress is relieved, suddenly all my practice and skills will finally flow out into very successful art pieces, like everything I am doing now is just building blocks. I like to believe that my efforts have not been in vain, that they will pay off some day. Recently, I decided to try to learn more about composition.
Organizing it all is where I struggle, but I am really making a earnest effort to get myself as organized as possible within the time limits that I have. Organizing is also what’s held me back from trying to sell more. Considering that I do want to one day move into full time art making and ministry, I plan to tackle these challenges!
Creative Passages 