If I were a landscape

If I were a landscape, there would be a lot to take in; it might seem to be confusing at first and even a bit bewildering. There would be odd juxtapositions in the landscape; things you wouldn’t expect to go together and even contradictions. There would be a complex cityscape intermingled with a vast expanse of outdoor space. There would be bursts of colors everywhere and pockets of dark space and corners that are not widely traveled. The dark spaces would be given the same space to exist as the prettier places and both would be honored. The grass would be a warm shade of green with spots of subtle pastel colors, dotted with flowers, and there would be quite a variety of trees, reddish rust colored cliffs, and blue green bodies of water, with some darker waters off in the distance, looking a bit foreboding. The sky would change colors depending on mood, but quite often it would be a blend of turquoise and magenta with the sun casting a warm glow. The beautiful landscape would have uniquely structured buildings located in odd places which would look like art sculptures themselves. They would rise up with bold walls and intersect in interesting and complex ways, and it would seem amazing that they would even stand; an architectural anomaly. In other areas outside there would be pleasant little nooks surrounded by plants, flowers, and seating areas to stop, relax, introspect, and reflect. One wouldn’t necessarily know where to go, and there would be so much to look at. But hidden in the landscape would be secret treasures waiting to be found, so walking through could be like a treasure hunt. Some treasures would already be found and placed in one of the unusual buildings which serves as a museum and library simultaneously. Unfortunately, some would be placed on shelves, dusty and neglected, while others would be carefully polished off. Only a few would be invited to come here. One would have to have a guide, and beware of the danger areas. Even the host does not usually enter the danger areas unless there is an expert guide and sometimes a close friend, for fear of getting lost or stuck there. There would be so much to see, some parts that bring joy, stillness, and calmness, and other parts that leave one full of fear and dread. Also, there would be deep portals or bottomless pits which appear out of nowhere. The ground would just suddenly open up, and if you were not careful you could fall right in. You could be falling for days and it could feel like forever, but just as suddenly and mysteriously the portal would close and you would find yourself on solid ground again. Some portals into the abyss would be clearly marked. Just getting near them would produce a deep ache and heaviness, for they go to a deep place of loss, betrayal, and brokeness from times long ago when innocence and wonder were stolen. But it seems as long as you didn’t fall into one of the dark abysses, you would be ok, and even if you did fall in, eventually helpers came around to pull you out. So you wouldn’t be there forever even if it felt that way. Truly most of the danger areas were really just smokey, scary places where it was hard to see; places of desolation from past wars fought, and even there guides came around if you just stopped and asked. Just as there were danger zones, there would also be places of healing, little bursts of water shooting up out of the ground from hard, rocky places. They are quite unexpected, but the water has been gushing and then trickling at different times, so this area is actually quite beautiful, surrounded with a garden of flowers that come right up out of the rocks. It is quite amazing to see, because behind the garden and water spouts are darker areas deep off in the woods. As long as you knew where you were going you would do quite well here, but you would definitely need a guide.

Side note: This was inspired by a writing prompt during an online conference I listened to. The whole purpose of the conference was to enhance creativity and artistic skill. I loved the prompt.

The internal landscape you see described here really describes what its like inside my mind being a creative with a history of sexual abuse, but with having had years and years of therapy and healing experiences.

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